How to Make the Criticism Sandwich
- Sep 3, 2016
- 4 min read
Giving criticism is like a delicate culinary process. Provide it bluntly and the receiving party might be burned. But fill it with too many positive points and your feedback undertones might go unnoticed.
Surely you’ve been in a situation where you’ve been a little too harsh with family, coworkers, or friends…
You never take out the trash. Would you please get the project in on time for once? Why am I the only one who ever stays late?
Or maybe you’ve given feedback that loses its message behind too much fluff.
You’re so wonderful. Please work on this. But you’re so wonderful anyways.
You’ve probably been on the receiving end of it too. And if you’re like many, it made you nothing but defensive and spiteful. What are you saying about the chicken parm I just spent an hour making? If you don’t like it, don’t eat it! Grrr.
So how should you give criticism most effectively so the grrrs are kept to a minimum and the person is receptive to your feedback? Make a sandwich. Let’s take a look at the menu:
The Hoagie
Ideal for: personal relationships and minor issues.
1. Compliment. Give the person a genuine compliment or appreciation.
“I love that we can sit down together after a long day and share a nice meal.”
2. Criticize. Tell them what went wrong and explain why it did. Then share ideas of how to fix it or prevent it going forward.
“I would really appreciate it if I could have some help cleaning up after we finish eating because it’s hard for me to do it all on my own. Maybe next time I can wash the dishes and you can dry.”
3. Compliment and encourage. Keep their confidence up or you’ll have a hard time getting the results you want.
“And you know I want to clean up faster so we can catch up on our shows, which is my favorite part of the day.”
The Open-Faced Sandwich
Ideal for: necessary changes, second warnings, and periodical reviews.
1. Criticize. Tell the recipient up-front that you will be giving him feedback, share the issue, and give suggestions.
“I’m going to give you some criticism now. I found quite a few spelling errors, which makes the editor’s job even harder. Get in the habit of double-checking your work or ask someone to read through it for you.”
2. Compliment and encourage. Tell them something they did correctly to keep their spirits high and provide encouragement.
“I liked the content you wrote, and I’d much rather tell my employee to double-check his work than ask him to improve his writing. So, continue your writing style and review your work before you send it over to me. Reach out if I can clarify anything.”
The Gluten-Free Option
Ideal for: last chances.
There is nothing to soften the blow with the Gluten-Free criticism sandwich. Only the critical information is shared so the message is not missed.
1. Criticize. Very directly, with proof. Then share the expectation and/or consequence. Consider having something written as a take-away reminder.
“You have missed your quotas for the past three months, as seen here (referring to take-away). You should have followed up with these clients as we discussed. For the next month, you will track your communications and share them with me. We will schedule a meeting for the end of the month and discuss your progress. If you do not meet your quota, we will need to put you on a Performance Plan or discuss your future here.”
Reach out via email after your meeting to see if you can clarify any information. It can be difficult for people to respond to criticism on the spot, so allow them to collect their thoughts and reread what you had to say can help them take it in and get the information they need.
Giving criticism is not a one-size-fits-all task. But there are some general tips to keep in mind:
Avoid superlatives (words like “always” and “never”); they are an easy way to ensure the receiving party becomes defensive and doesn’t hear your advice. You always. You never.
Use “I” messages instead of “you” to prevent your comments from sounding accusatory. I noticed. I feel. I see.
Before you get straight to the point, make sure you are providing feedback in a way that will help the recipient actually hear you. Think through the conversation and plan what needs to be said.
Keep a paper trail. Emails suffice for lesser talking points. But when it comes to the serious, employment-threatening criticism, get it in writing and have both parties sign. Do whatever you can to cover your bum.
Above all else, remember you are talking to a person who takes pride in their work and has feelings. Handle criticism respectfully and honestly and on a case-by-case basis, and you will be much more likely to see the results you desire.
If you liked this article, we think you'll really like:
What to do when your direct report is looking for a new job
Jackie Vermeulen is the founder of The Career Mint. She works closely with mentors and some off-site experts to address the hard-hitting career topics in articles like the one you’re reading now.
Comments